Guilty Until Proven Innocent

Cat owners know that their cats can cause trouble. It seems to be cat's nature to be a problem maker. This does not mean, though, that all the problems that occur should be blamed on the cat.

We have five (yes, five) dogs in my house for the next two weeks. (Well, one will go home after 1 week.) Not only is it our two dachshunds (Sherlock and Molly), but my sister's other dachshund (Watson), my aunt's bichon-cockerspaniel mix (Sage), but also my step sister's St Bernard (Grover). So far everyone has been getting along, except the cat.

Selkie (the cat) is terrified of Grover. She has been hiding upstairs or in closets so she does not have to see him. We even have to carry her downstairs to make sure she gets to her food bowl. This cat would rather starve then be around that dog. With this in mind, she is still the first one blamed for problems.

This morning, there were dog treats all over the floor and the dogs were eating them up. I was told that -my- cat (she is only called this when she is in trouble) spilled the treats and the dogs were going nuts. Did anyone see the cat on the counter? No. Did anyone see the cat downstairs at all? No. Still, she must have done it. Who else would right?

This bugged me. Yes, Selkie has gotten on the counter before, but so have the dogs. Sherlock in particular is not above getting on furniture to reach things on tables or counters and the same can be said about Sage, probably even more so! I let this stew in me for a while before I could speak with my fiancée in private and express how angry I was that the cat always got the blame.

During this conversation, Grover stood up on his back paws, put his whole head in the sink and was licking the plates within. I yelled at him and he promptly got down and walked away. My mother's BF came in and asked what had happened. When I told him he said, "Well, maybe the cat didn't do that thing earlier."

 

How could blame go right to the cat when there are three known dogs in this house to grab stuff off tables and counters and one of them happens to be the size of a small horse?! It annoys me as much as the people who set off the explosion type fireworks that make all these dogs upset... speaking of...

Why Paranormal Shows [Sometimes] Suck

I love the paranormal; which I really think -is- normal, just something we do not understand yet. I also love watching paranormal shows. Some of the shows are more fake than others, and I know that and I still watch them for the sheer entertainment value of it rather than looking at it as "OMG! I need to base my whole belief on ghosts on this one show and this one bit of footage!" Other times, I just like watching the investigators scare themselves.

There is one show that I was excited to see coming on the air because I thought it would be something great about debunking things and weeding out the crap from the gems; but I have been proven wrong. The show Fact or Faked on the SyFy Channel was on this night. I have enjoyed watching this show and have agreed with most of what they have done and explored on there. Tonight, however, they really annoyed me.

It was not their dissection of the Oregon Vortex that bugged me (as I pretty much already knew about those), but rather this footage they had of a "ghost" on camera. This "ghost" was so very clearly a bug. I have seen a lot of bug-on-the-lense footage and they all can look very different and strange depending on the insect type, the camera type, the time of day, etc. However, this one was so very much a bug I felt almost stupid watching them argue over it.

In the footage, you can SEE the bug (I will assume a fly since it was in a pub and the way it moved) clean it's legs, flicker it's wings, and then crawled off the screen. Rather than come to this conclusion, they flew ALL THE WAY to England, tested the footage against bugs, smoke, fabric, and heat to see if they could mimic the original footage.

While in teh begining, they were so admiment that it was not a bug, and they had even said  after their bug test, "This cannot be a bug!" they agreed IT WAS A BUG! Really? Ya don't say? Wow. I'm so glad it took you all that money and time to tell us something that was so clearly obvious in the first place.

I was less upset that they had wasted the time and money and fuel and more mad that they had just drawn this out, so very very very long only to go: Oh, I guess it was a bug... you guys agree? Bug? Ok, it's a fake video. END EPISODE.

Great job.

And, why is a video "fake" if it's a natural thing? "Oh, this black ribbon in the sky ... people think it's paranormal, but is is fact or faked?... Faked! These are bats!" How is that fake? It's a REAL bat flying in a REAL sky during a REAL event. Even if someone -tried- to pass it off as something paranormal, the video it self is not a FAKE, but the story around it is. I guess they don't care to try and explain that to people. If it's not paranormal it's fake and that is all we care about. Again; great job.

I am not a skeptic, but I am also not stupid.

How Not to Hit on A Lady at Walmart.

 This is a informational post for all those young men out there who are determined to pick up a chick at Walmart.

First of all: No. Just don't. Don't even think about it. It's fucking Walmart for the love of rice cakes! The only girls there are either dirty skanks (and if that is what you are going for, might I suggest you get some penicillin as well) or are only there because the store they normally go to for their cat food is closed because of the stupid new year.

Second: A good way to introduce yourself is not by bumping into them in an isle where the only other person is an old woman at the other end of it. Saying "Excuse me," is not an ice breaker. Now, one pass and a bump can easily be attributed to someone who is just dumb, but a second pass and bump is like being in the ocean and a shark has come up to see if you are good to eat. This is a warning signal in any rational woman's mind.

Third: Being polite and starting a conversation is good, but what is not good is bluntly asking, "What's yo name?" in a tone that is liable to get a cold shoulder right off the bat. Also, if asking a lady a question like that in a "Look at me I play lots of Mafia Wars" tone is what you consider awesome... go away and come back when you want to talk about your level 85 Paladin. I am a WoW Nerd, not a Mafia Wars geek.

Fourth: Pay attention to where you are. Do not ask the lady "Which of these foods is good for a dog?" when you are standing in the cat food section. You will get an honest answer of "Dog food is one isle over," which is code for "Get lost." "Oh, well.... I have a cat too," is not a good cover. Neither is picking up a random bag of cat food and saying, "So, dis one is good?"

Fifth: Now, for the average woman, asking them out for coffee is a sweet proposal and in general a good idea for the guy. Keep your tone light, smooth, and a kind look on your face. Those are all good ways to get what you want. However, please try to be observant. When the lady is purposely using her left hand to grab a bag of cat food or pretend she is reading the labels with it in order to show off her ENGAGEMENT RING, walk away. Just say "It was nice talking to you, thanks for the help with the cat food," and leave. Don't get annoyed when she turns you down and then ask in an agitated tone, "You got a boyfriend or somethin'?"

Sixth: It is a wise choice to admit defeat and make an attempt to bow out gracefully. Wishing the lady good fortune in her and her fiancé's marriage and life together may erase some of the creep-out factor you have spread over the pet section of the Walmart like a child vomiting after eating too much Christmas candy. Then again, we ladies with a good memory will not be swayed so easily.

One final thing, when you are putting the cat food back on the shelf, make sure that the lady you have been attempting to snag is not in the area still. This sight only confirms what she knew: You don't have a damn cat but were still looking for pussy.